RealGiganitris posted this other thread and linked to a dance song. I was going to reply and rant in that thread, but I thought It'd be less of a jerk move to not ruin his thread and instead start a new thread.
His post was here:
http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/lounge/138956/
Before I start, I'll say that everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinion and they can like whatever music they want. That's all fine. I'm not trying to criticize RealGiganitris for his tastes. I hope he (nor anyone else) is not personally offended by any of this.
But Dance music fucking sucks. I really hate it.
Also I lied: I do hope to offend someone. I hope to offend whatever talentless asshole made that fucking song.
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I very recently had a Facebook conversation with a buddy of mine in which I (very politely) explained why dance music sucks. He linked me to a retro style chiptune song thinking I would be into it (since I'm generally into NES-era video game music). Here's our conversation below:
He wrote: |
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Dance-itis. Haha. I like that term. Since electronic music went mainstream dance-itis infected it all. I read an interview with Nintendo's composer a while back. He was talking about the challenge of composing a short song, with very few sounds, that is OK to listen to for hours at a time. Pretty interesting. |
I wrote: |
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Lyrical music has the advantage of having unique lyrics that keep the listener entertained. Even if the melody is repeated over and over again, it's not so bad because the lyrics are different which keeps it fresh. Instrumental music doesn't have that luxury. It has to find a different way to be fresh. In NES-era games this was typically accomplished by simply not having the melody repeat... ever (or at least very infrequently). Here's a classic example from Duck Tales. Listen to the main melody. Notice how it never really repeats:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQtRnc1D7YY
The SMB main theme does have some repetition, but not a lot. It only repeats the same melody twice before switching to an entirely different melody:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGX4obVl64w
The Wily theme from Megaman2 alternates between 2 main melodies, but does minor variations each time to keep them interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp_O42DX_08
Dance music doesn't do this. It just repeats the same thing over and over and over. With little if any variation. Booooooring. Even when there are lyrics, it's usually just 5 words repeated over and over and over.
To compare, the AdhesiveWombat song you linked establishes the main melody in the first 15 seconds of the song. Then just adds background layers without mixing up the main tune at all. Somehow it stretches that 15 seconds of tune into a 4:30 song. Waaaaaaaay too long. |
For the record... I timed RealGiganitris' song's melody -- it's exactly 7 seconds long. That 7 seconds is just repeated for just about
3 minutes. The song literally does nothing else... I listened to it. It doesn't make any changes... there's no bridge... there's no breakdown... there's not even any harmony. 7 fucking second melody.
The only thing the song does to mix it up is change which instrument is playing the melody (I counted 3 different instruments that it cycles through). Oh and I guess at one point it actually had two different instruments playing the same melody on top of each other! That part was
inspired (sarcasm intended - this song fucking sucks my balls)
I fucking hate dance music.
The melody isn't even very imaginative. And in fact... the melody itself is repetitive. It's exactly 17 notes: A 4 note pattern that is repeated 4 times (with slight variations) and one extra note in there.
Did I mention I fucking
hate dance music?
Though I suppose there's good and bad in any genre. Hell, there's even some rap that I like (though not very much). For whatever reason bad dance music in particular strikes a hateful chord in me. I don't know why. Maybe because it's so boring, talentless, and unimaginative -- yet people gobble it up like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.
So yeah. Fuck dance music. Or more specifically... bad dance music.